Monday, July 25, 2011

Why Feet Are Gross

Feet are gross.

They just really, really are. I hate feet. I have for a very long time. Part of it is because MY feet are insanely ticklish. Seriously. If you so much as touch my feet, you will probably get kicked in the jaw. It's not that I hate you, it's just a reflex.

Anyway, feet are nasty. They usually smell, even if you're a fairly sanitary person. They smell. I'm sorry, but you, you who are reading this right now, your feet smell.

Plus, the nails are always gross. Cracked, or yellow, or just plain ew. They're different from fingernails, although I'm not sure exactly how. Point is, they're gross too.

And if you're a non-obese person (not to discriminate against obese people), your feet will be bony and vein-y and knobby. THINGS will stick out. I don't know if they're bones, or weird lumps of some unidentified substance, but they are weird, and I do not like them.

The bottoms of your feet are always gross too. If you walk around your house barefoot, to keep your floors from getting trashed, then you realize JUST HOW MUCH FILTH IS ON YOUR FLOORS! Because it's ALL ON THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR FEET! And if you wear socks/shoes/sandals/any combination thereof, you get weird BITS of your socks/shoes/sandals/any combination thereof STUCK to your FEET! There's usually CRAP BETWEEN YOUR TOES! How does this not gross more people out?

This is not all a reflection on MY feet, by the way. My toenails are neither cracked nor yellow. But that doesn't change the fact that a lot of people HAVE GROSS TOENAILS! Which is why feet are nasty. We should make them illegal. ...That might be overreacting. BUT STILL!

Keep your feet clean. Keep them out of sight. Keep them AWAY FROM MY FACE! (My friend has a tendency to stick her feet in my face, because she knows I hate feet. I keep forgetting why I'm friends with her....)

Blagh, I hate feet.

2 comments:

  1. I totally agree

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes! who is ma enough to like feet... massaging???

    ReplyDelete